The Symbolism and Narration of Amy Tan’s “Two Kinds”

Amy Tan demonstrates a child’s struggle for identity in her story â€Å"Two Kinds†. This essay analyses the writing techniques Tan uses in order to express the struggle between parent and child; in which the child is struggling to have her own identity. Typical in Asian cultures, Tan describes the parents’ desire for a child prodigy through strict discipline and expected child obedience. Living in America exposes Jing-mei to American influence. Jing-mei’s mother however spent the majority of her life in China, and expects her child to behave as she would had she been raised in China. This essay depicts American cultural influence as one way to explain Jing-mei and her mother’s contrasting views; the main idea of this essay however is to demonstrate Tan’s use of symbolism and narration to depict the traditional struggle between parent and child. Amy Tan uses the main character, Jing-mei to represent the typical American pre-teen who is determined to break free from her mother’s uncontrollable need to make her a prodigy. Jing-mei is a rounded main character which the reader is able to watch grow emotionally throughout the story; her need to be herself and defend her position is an important theme throughout â€Å"Two Kinds†. Tan uses the first person narration to draw the reader in personally to JIng-mei and what she is experiencing. The reader can hear Jing-mei’s thoughts and disappointments. The minor character, Jing-mei’s mother, is a flat character in comparison to her daughter. The reader is unable to really know what the mother is thinking because of Tan’s use of second person narration. To help the reader understand the mother’s actions, Tan describes the mother’s history briefly discussed within the first page of the story. Using an important writing technique, Tan gives the reader a look into the mother’s painful history; enough for the reader to understand the mother’s motives as they watch her drill her daughter on popular American trivia facts and not stopping even after Jeing-mei protests. The opening line of â€Å"Two Kinds† is especially important to understanding the mother’s motives. Jing-mei, the narrator tells the audience, â€Å"my mother believed you could be anything you wanted to be in America† (468). This sentence describes the hopes and dreams of Jing-mei’s mother. Tan goes on to explain the mother’s perception of America; she believes America is the answer to all their problems. The readers are not told what happened to her remaining family in China, but it resulted in death and that is enough for the reader to sympathize with the mother and her controlling behavior. The narrator, JIng-mei, gives the audience an understanding of the mother’s motives; this understanding is important in order for Tan to communicate her message of a daughter-mother relationship. The reader has the advantage of knowing the mother’s reasoning for pushing Jing-mei to be the best; Jing-mei however, does not. By using first person narration, the reader experiences Jing-mei’s frustration at being made to perform against her will. In the beginning of â€Å"Two Kinds† however, Jing-mei is excited at the prospect of being famous. Jing-mei thinks, â€Å"in all of my imaginings, I was filled with a sense that I would soon be perfect;† the reader almost feels sorry for the little girl; for many adults can sympathize. Many people can remember a time of innocence when they thought they could do anything, that they could be the perfect child their parents imagined them to be. This need to fill a parent’s high expectations is cause for harsh disappointment as Jing-mei discovers. After witnessing her mother’s disappointment; anger begins to burn inside Jing-mei at having to perform ridiculous tests. This rage turns to an inner protest; Tan portrays this rebellion as Jing-mei’s disinterest in test questions. Even after her mother goes through trouble of trading house cleaning for piano lessons, Jing-mei puts in minimal effort. This child rebellion is common in American children; rather than risking being a disappointment, Jing-mei protects her feelings by acting as if she doesn’t care. Tan writes of Jing-mei’s private protest, â€Å"so now on nights when my mother presented her tests, I performed listlessly, my head propped on one arm. I pretended to be bored. And I was† (470). Jing-mei became her own prodigy. The story’s title, â€Å"Two Kinds†, is a description of the theme of the story. The title of Tan’s story is a symbol of the two generations and two cultures depicted in â€Å"Two Kinds†. The mother is from China, with Chinese traditions and Jing-mei was raised in America, influenced by America’s culture; where children had more say and questioned their parents’ judgments as Jing-mei finally did when she accused her mother of wanting her to be a genius. There is a distinct gap between mother and daughter as seen in both generational and cultural differences. The most important use of symbolism in â€Å"Two Kinds† is the piano. The piano becomes the link between Jing-mei and her mother; although this is not clear to Jing-mei during childhood. Jing-mei is angered by being forced to play the piano and purposely doesn’t take it serious; much like the way Jing-mei does not take her mothers dreams for a prodigy serious. Underlying the rebellion Jing-mei demonstrates during her piano lessons; she finds the chance to play in a talent show exiting; her excitement reveals that small part of her that still wants to please her mother and be the little prodigy her mother hopes for. Jing-mei describes her childish excitement to make her mother proud, she says, â€Å"When my turn came, I was very confident. I remember my childish excitement. It was as if I knew, without a doubt, that the prodigy side of me really did exist† (474). Tan accurately portrays a child’s inner desire to please her parent, as she writes of Jing-mei’s sudden excitement. All Jing-mei’s protests were forgotten and she had a chance to make her mom proud. Tan’s narrative style allows the reader to see the full extent of Jing-mei’s emotional growth. The narrator is Jing-mei as an adult, looking back at this specific time of her childhood in refection. It isn’t until she is an adult that she can appreciate what her mother was trying to accomplish during her childhood. The narrator realized that everything changed after the disastrous recital. Her mother’s dreams seemed to fade after JIng-mei demonstrated what she had learned throughout her lessons. Tan showed a mother’s unconditional love for her child by the mother insisting that Jing-mei continue her lessons even after the recital fiasco. While it may seem that the mother was extremely controlling, making the child continue with lessons she did not want; the reader can interpret this as a mother who does not give up on her child; a mother who is determined to show her child that she can accomplish anything she puts her mind to. The piano remains a symbol for the relationship between Jing-mei and her mother. After things escalate and Jing-mei speaks out against her mother, wishing she weren’t her daughter, the piano remains unused. Tan uses this opportunity to fast forward to all the future disappointments she causes her mother.   The piano continues to be a link between mother and daughter when the mother asks Jing-mei to take it on her thirtieth birthday; and encourages her to try it again by complimenting on her quick learning ability. This opened the door to a new understanding in their relationship. All of a sudden the piano became a symbol of Jing-mei’s acceptance by her mother and herself. Jing-mei as an adult appreciates what her mother had done for her as a child. The fondness she suddenly has for the piano that brought her such frustration and embarrassment symbolizes the acceptance of herself and of the truth behind her mother’s pushy but well meaning behavior. The piano symbolizes the mother-daughter bond which is tested during childhood but strengthens in time with understanding. In conclusion, Tan uses first person narration to give the reader a more intimate experience with the characters. The symbolism used in â€Å"Two Kinds† portrays the classic struggle between mother and daughter; a daughter seeking her own identity and a mother wanting the best for her daughter. â€Å"Two Kinds† addresses the pain that family can bring upon one another but also the forgiveness and understanding that can be reached between loved ones.         

These 5 Microsoft Word tweaks that will make your resume shine

These 5 Microsoft Word tweaks that will make your resume shine A good resume is your foot in the door at the best companies. Even if you have a solid background filled with relevant jobs that make you an ideal candidate, you still need your resume’s formatting to sing. Your number one goal is to make it easier and faster for recruiters to read (and fall in love with) your resume. Remember, you likely have only a quick glance of a few seconds to make a first impression- anything sloppy, out of place, or distracting might send you right into the reject pile before a recruiter has even read one word. Read on for the basic checklist you should use to make sure everything is clean and professional in MS Word before you attach and send away.1. Show/Hide formatting and fix sloppiness.Utilize the Show/Hide feature to see if everything is laid out neatly by clicking the button that looks like a backwards â€Å"P† on your Home toolbar or clicking Ctrl+8 or command+8. Now, you can see all the paragraphs you’ve made and your use of spac ebar vs. tabs. Using the now-visible marks, standardize all spaces and delete any that don’t belong. This is your chance to clean up all the messy bits of DIY formatting you did that might not translate well across computers.At this point, align all of your content uniformly. Use the tab stop menu in the top left corner of your document, just to the left of the ruler. Click until you see the tab stop you want, then click the ruler where you want that stop to be. Use bullets for consistent (and easier to adjust) spacing when you’re listing experiences or skills, and use the Line and Paragraph Spacing tool to manage the size of spaces in-between sections, sentences, bullets, and paragraphs.2. Insert a header and footer.Use the header and footer feature to make use of all the precious space you have. You don’t have a lot of space to work with on one page, so you want to use the body of your resume to list skills, work history, and education. Don’t waste this space with contact information- put that at the top and bottom. Just use the â€Å"Insert† tab drop menu to find the kind of header/footer formatting you want, then go nuts.3. Go bold and use bullets.Bold job titles to make them pop. Then, use bolded headers to delineate your sections, and under them, use bullets to list your skills and relevant bits of detail. Formatting your resume like this makes it easy to follow, clean, and organized. Keep your bullet style neat and simple- in most cases, a resume is not the time for creativity.4. Prioritize.Put your best and most relevant experience and skills at the top, moving all the rest (especially if it’s basically filler) to lower sections. The recruiter’s eye reads the top few lines first (and sometimes stops there!). Make sure your best stuff is most easy to find.5. Convert to PDF.To ensure security and to make sure your beautiful formatting work doesn’t get jumbled up on someone’s not-updated machi ne, make sure to click â€Å"Save as† and then convert your final resume into a PDF. A quick double check will show that this new uneditable document is ready to be uniformly read by any recruiters- just as you wanted them to see it.

An overview of scrum methodology

An overview of scrum methodology Software development organizations have become more interested in agile methodologies, whose focus is client collaboration, individual value, and adaptation to change. Scrum is a framework within which people can address complex adaptive problems, while productively and creatively delivering products of the highest possible value. Scrum makes clear the relative efficacy of your product management and development practices so that you can improve. The Scrum framework consists of Scrum Teams and their associated roles, events, artifacts, and rules. Each component within the framework serves a specific purpose and is essential to Scrum’s success and usage. What is the scrum? Scrum is a framework for managing work with an emphasis on software development. It is designed for teams of three to nine developers who break their work into actions that can be completed within time-boxed iterations, called sprints (typically two-weeks) and track progress and re-plan in 15-minute stand-up meetings called daily scrums. Approaches to coordinating the work of multiple scrum teams in larger organizations include Large-Scale Scrum, Scaled Agile Framework (SAFe) and Scrum of Scrums, among others. Scrum values:- Scrum is a feedback-driven empirical approach which is, like all empirical process control, underpinned by the three pillars of transparency, inspection, and adaptation. All work within the Scrum framework should be visible to those responsible for the outcome: the process, the workflow, progress, etc. In order to make these things visible, scrum teams need to frequently inspect the product being developed and how well the team is working. With frequent inspection, the team can spot when their work deviates outside of acceptable limits and adapt their process or the product under development.[18] These three pillars require trust and openness in the team, which the following five values of Scrum enable:[14] Commitment: Team members individually commit to achieving their team goals, each and every sprint. Courage: Team members know they have the courage to work through conflict and challenges together so that they can do the right thing. Focus: Team members focus exclusively on their team goals and the sprint backlog; there should be no work done other than through their backlog. Openness: Team members and their stakeholders agree to be transparent about their work and any challenges they face. Respect: Team members respect each other to be technically capable and to work with good intent. Scrum roles:- The three roles defined in scrum are the ScrumMaster,the product owner, and the Team (which consists of Team members). The people who fulfill these roles work together closely, on a daily basis, to ensure the smooth flow of information and the quick resolution of issues. ScrumMaster The ScrumMaster (sometimes written â€Å"Scrum Master,† although the official term has no space after â€Å"Scrum†) is the keeper of the process. The ScrumMaster is responsible for making the process run smoothly, for removing obstacles that impact productivity, and for organizing and facilitating the critical meetings. The ScrumMasters responsibilities include Removing the barriers between the Development Team and the Product Owner so that the Product Owner directly drives development. Teach the Product Owner how to maximize return on investment (ROI), and meet his/her objectives through Scrum. Improve the lives of the development Team by facilitating creativity and empowerment. Improve the productivity of the development Team in any way possible. Improve the engineering practices and tools so that each increment of functionality is potentially shippable. Keep information about the Team’s progress up to date and visible to all parties. In practical terms, the ScrumMaster needs to understand Scrum well enough to train and mentor the other roles and educate and assist other stakeholders who are involved in the process. The ScrumMaster should maintain a constant awareness of the status of the project (its progress to date) relative to the expected progress, investigate and facilitate resolution of any roadblocks that hold back progress, and generally be flexible enough to identify and deal with any issues that arise, in any way that is required. The ScrumMaster must protect the Team from disturbance from other people by acting as the interface between the two. The ScrumMaster does not assign tasks to Team members, a task assignment is a Team responsibility. The ScrumMaster’s general approach towards the Team is to encourage and facilitate their decision-making and problem-solving capabilities so that they can work with increasing efficiency and the decreasing need for supervision. The goal is to have a team tha t is not only empowered to make important decisions but does so well and routinely. Product Owner The Product Owner is the keeper of the requirements. The Product Owner provides the â€Å"single source of truth† for the Team regarding requirements and their planned order of implementation. In practice, the Product Owner is the interface between the business, the customers, and their product related needs on one side, and the Team on the other. The Product Owner buffers the Team from the feature and bug-fix requests that come from many sources and is the single point of contact for all questions about product requirements. Product Owner works closely with the team to define the user-facing and technical requirements, to document the requirements as needed, and to determine the order of their implementation. Product Owner maintains the Product Backlog (which is the repository for all of this information), keeping it up to date and at the level of detail and quality, the Team requires. The Product Owner also sets the schedule for releasing completed work to customers and make s the final call as to whether implementations have the features and quality required for release. Team The Team is a self-organizing and cross-functional group of people who do the hands-on work of developing and testing the product. Since the Team is responsible for producing the product, it must also have the authority to make decisions about how to perform the work. The Team is therefore self-organizing: Team members decide how to break work into tasks, and how to allocate tasks to individuals, throughout the Sprint. The Team size should be kept in the range from five to nine people, if possible. (A larger number make communication difficult, while a smaller number leads to low productivity and fragility.) Note: A very similar term, â€Å"Scrum Team,† refers to the Team plus the ScrumMaster and Product Owner. Scrum pros:- Scrum can help teams complete project deliverables quickly and efficiently: Scrum ensures effective use of time and money Large projects are divided into easily manageable sprints Developments are coded and tested during the sprint review Works well for fast-moving development projects The team gets clear visibility through scrum meetings Scrum, being agile, adopts feedback from customers and stakeholders Short sprints enable changes based on feedback a lot more easily The individual effort of each team member is visible during daily scrum meetings Scrum cons:-Nothing is perfect, and the Scrum methodology is no exception. In some cases, Scrum is combined with other project management techniques that can help resolve some of these drawbacks: Scrum often leads to scope creep, due to the lack of a definite end-date The chances of project failure are high if individuals arent very committed or cooperative Adopting the Scrum framework in large teams is challenging The framework can be successful only with experienced team members Daily meetings sometimes frustrate team members If any team member leaves in the middle of a project, it can have a huge negative impact on the project Quality is hard to implement until the team goes through the aggressive testing process Scrum process:- Needless to say, proper planning and smart decision making can help you get past these disadvantages with the Scrum methodology. For example, in larger teams, each member needs to have defined roles and responsibilities with definite goals, so that there is no compromise on quality and no excuse for failure. This will keep the team focused to project goals. Plus, the ScrumMaster needs to guide the team effectively to avoid pitfalls and ensure 100% project success.

Marketing Decicion Making Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2000 words

Marketing Decicion Making - Essay Example Effective market communication requires an integrated promotional system that reaches from primary producer to ultimate consumer. Communications flow to markets through long, complex channels that include manufacturers, retailers, wholesalers, consumers, agencies, and media. Each unit can break the chain or pass on the information as it sees fit. The amount and quality of information, therefore, depends on the channel. IMC's most fundamental and perhaps most challenging task is trying to reach people who can conceivably purchase a client's product. Allin (2009). explains marketing communications as "the process by which the marketer develops and presents an appropriate set of communications stimuli to a defined target audience with the intention of eliciting a desired set of responses" (p.37). Formal channels, however, do not account for all marketing communications. Publicity, which is an integral part of many promotional campaigns and sometimes precedes the advertising and sales effort, lies outside them. Although it can be important in gaining market acceptance for products and companies, publicity, like word of mouth, is often a relatively low-grade communications channel with a high degree of interference, distortion, and noise. Marketing communications serve four basic management purposes. ... Third, they help adjust the system to customer and consumer requirements. Fourth, they adjust and help in adjusting the product to customer needs. The task of marketing communications is to get people or markets to progress from a state of unawareness, or even negative reaction, to one of positive action. The stages in this progression are unawareness, awareness, comprehension, conviction, and action (Steve 2009). The theory of information is one that holds promise for the measurement of marketing communications. To date, its primary application is in electrical engineering. It deals with measuring the information content of a message, self-information, bits of information, entropy, the value of average information, loose channels, and noisy and noiseless channels. It provides operational definitions, measures, and a different basis for thinking about marketing communications. The idea of measuring the information content of stimuli, though particularly relevant, is not yet tractable, and the application of this part communications theory to practical marketing situations remains unattained. The careful financial review now being given to investments in plant and equipment or to inventory purchases is destined to be extended to advertising expenditures. Advertising messages are meeting increasing competition from a plethora of other ads, from other media, from competitors, and from all the act ivities that vie for a person's attention. As output swells and communications facilities increase, more claims will be made on consumer time and the cost of marketing communications will skyrocket (Ng and Houston 2009). Pros and cons: advertising. The advantage of advertising is

The work of Michael Craig Martin Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2500 words - 1

The work of Michael Craig Martin - Essay Example In the work â€Å"Inhale Yellow,† there is a direct statement about the modern day living as well as the complexities which it brings. The techniques which are used in the painting, as well as the overall context which Martin defines creates a specific understanding of the work and what this means in contemporary society. By examining this piece, a spectator can make a direct link to personal, societal and cultural viewpoints that are based on the approach to the painting. Background of Painting The painting, â€Å"Inhale Yellow,† is part of a series of works created by Martin, specifically which were commissioned by the Manchester Art Gallery in May of 2002, specifically for the re-opening that they had during this year. The concept which was introduced by the art gallery was based on contemporary themes that are pertinent to the 20th century. This not only included the piece which is often only referred to as â€Å"yellow,† which is acrylic on canvas and 243.8 x 182.8 cm. Martin also created a series of inhale / exhale pieces that are exhibited by the side of this one, all which go along the side of this theme as well as the Manchester life style that is reflective for the art gallery.

International service2 Assignment Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words

International service2 - Assignment Example Credit ratings play a fundamental role in a reduction of the information asymmetry. Such information concerning the value of securities or bonds is often a subject to distortion and bias, but the rating portfolio chips in to alleviate the crises. The information provided for a certain bond or security influences the intensity of participation of its sales and value in the financial markets. For a borrower to qualify in the stage of borrowing, the lender has to reconsider a variety of factors, one of which is credit rating. Third parties also utilize the same analysis to establish the confidence of the bond progress. Primarily, credit ratings are very essential in reducing such information gap. One has to spot a critical difference between a real borrower and a risk borrower. In this way, credit ratings will come hand in hand with their in-depth information. The information is independent and not subject to bias. Private investors may not keep in close useful trend with the companies that issue the security. Therefore, it is important for an intermediary to come in between the companies giving their results in terms of ratings. The ratings will not only aid in investment portfolios but also in transparency and disclosure of appropriate bonds purchase in the coming days. Most significantly, credit rating process utilizes the entire firm’s financial data, financial trends, accounting information and other charters to come up with a conclusive information of rating the firm. The evaluation process is rigorous and consumes much time. Those analyzing the data always strike a clear balance in the assessment tools to ensure that there is no one firm that is disadvantaged. The information is also withheld d and not disclosed to other competitive firms, hence high level of confidentiality. With the rigorous process utilized in data collection, analysis and final verification, the

Social Work Personal Reflections On Becoming A Social Worker

Social Work Personal Reflections On Becoming A Social Worker Personal Reflections On Becoming A Social Worker In this assignment I am going to explore the reasons and motivations that inspired me to redirect my life and enter the social work profession. I am going to reflect on my life, so that I am able to realise the probable impact of my experiences on my professional life. My story begins with my grandparents, both paternal and maternal, who were working class, suffering disadvantage and poverty. Both my grandmothers worked in the mill doing piecework to try and keep their families afloat. My maternal grandmother was always in debt, borrowing on HP to buy goods, and my paternal grandmother was a widow who brought my father up alone. There was no benefit system then, therefore, she had to work to survive. My father passed the grammar school exams but was unable to attend, as my grandmother could not afford for him to go, hence he had to seek employment instead. My father worked hard and eventually acquired his own business. As I grew up I became aware that my father was very thrifty, a consequence of the hardship he suffered as a child and not wanting to return to this state, which made me very aware of the disadvantages of poverty. My father and grandmother brought me up, with my brother. We lived in a terraced house, in East Lancashire, with no bathroom and an outside toilet. I do not remember life as a ‘normal’ family as my parents divorced when I was young. My grandmother was upset by the divorce, inducing her to ‘split’ (Klein identified this process as a defence) favouring her son. She idealised my brother, and I was left to my own devices, (I was denigrated, I assume because I resembled my mother) often playing with friends and joining them on family outings. I felt isolated and as though I did not belong anywhere. I promptly adapted my own survival techniques by splitting; becoming a ‘free spirit’, and pretending I belonged to the families I joined on outings. ‘Splitting’ being the â€Å"most primitive of the defences† (Froggett, 2008). Growing up I remember there was not much money, my grandmother buying clothes from jumble sales, and I only remember getting new socks for Easter. I was not particularly aware of my socio-economic position, however, I did recognise that we were different from other families. Although people no doubt did feel sorry for me, I used my personality to gain recognition as an individual. This, perhaps, was the beginning of my interest in less fortunate individuals, influencing my decision to enter social work. I was unaware, at this time, that I had a mother but I did have contact with my maternal grandparents. My father was not particularly political, however, my grandparents were very much of the labour mindset, having split, and adapted a ‘them and us’ mentality regarding their status of working class. My maternal grandmother was involved with the Catholic Church and helped others less fortunate by knitting clothes and baking cakes. She was very kind and caring in one way, but to a lesser extent if people were of a different religion. During that time the community relied on their faith and helped their neighbours, seeing it as a Christian duty. My grandmother was a respected member of the community who was aware of, and took responsibility, showing empathy and compassion for those less fortunate than herself. She believed that she was improving their lives, but was realistic recognising that she could only assist them with emotional and practical needs, not material wealth. Hence, she was not alleviating their poverty but making it more bearable, and it could be said that she acted as a ‘container’ for others. Containment (Froggett, 2002, pg 13) â€Å"refers to the capacity of an individual, †¦.., to mentally receive and hold the disorganised or troubling psychic material of another, rendering it more bearable.† This resulted in, according to Klein, her realizing the ‘depressive position’ (seeing the other as whole). Looking back now I believe this is where I gained my values and beliefs, my grandmother being an important role model. Her influence was the beginning of my need to enter a caring profession, feeling a sense of obligation to support and care for others. My grandparents often talked of wartime, the struggles and hardship, remembering rationing and institutions. They welcomed the new welfare state, seeing it as an end to their struggles providing benefits, healthcare and education. I grew up not knowing anything other than a welfare state, accepting it as a right for everyone; however, I can imagine how difficult life was for them and the disadvantages they suffered as a result of their social position. Prior to commencement of this course I have criticised welfare for creating a ‘dependency culture’ and demonised those who could work and never tried to find employment. At the time I was suffering hardship, being widowed and pregnant at the age of 27 with 3 boys already aged 18 months, 3 and 5 years respectively. I received widowed mother’s allowance but also worked part time to support my family. I was not in receipt of any other benefits, free school dinners or free school uniforms. I would have been better off on benefits but chose self-respect, not wanting to be a burden, and I feel this has made me a more independent person. I realise now that others lives are more complex and involve other issues, nevertheless, by working I was not allowing myself time to grieve and by demonising others I was blaming them for my situation. Now I can see all angles and have reached the ‘depressive position’, having mourned and can feel compassion for those on welfare. The ‘depressive position’ being a â€Å"†¦ selfless capacity to acknowledge other people for their unique qualities and moral worth.† (Froggett, 2002, pg 45) I have always wanted to enter a caring profession; when I was younger people would comment on how I would make a good nurse, but until the death of my husband I did not pursue this, as life had presented me with other obstacles. It was due to my own lack of support after my husband’s death that I became more determined to help others who could not help themselves. However, during the process of becoming a social worker I have become aware of and welcomed the help I am also giving myself, resolving hidden issues from the past. Being abandoned by my mother left me feeling rejected, isolated, and feeling of no importance to anyone. The experience made me a very independent and untrusting person, making me feel as though I could only rely on myself, and this remains with me to this day with exception of the ‘untrusting’. As I matured and formed a relationship with my mother, albeit a fragmented one, I now understand her reasons for leaving, (a characteristic of the ‘depressive position’), although, having been widowed with 4 children to raise in later life, I cannot condone her actions. She has expressed guilt and sorrow, and felt that she was doing the right thing at the time, reasoning with herself that I was better off with my father and stability. She entered a new relationship, having a second family and ‘split’ her feelings for me as a response. I ‘split’ in a way that I denied I had a mother, repressing her into my unconscious, and erased her from my memory. I remember at the age of 6 coming home from school to find my mother with my grandmother and not knowing who she was. From the age of 7 I moved area to live with my mother and new family and felt like a prisoner. My anxiety caused me to demonise my mother as I blamed her for taking me away from my father and for trying to indoctrinate me to have bad feelings for him. I could not see any positive qualities about our relationship (Froggett, 2008). Consequently my relationship with my mother was never a good one, and I constantly challenged her attitudes, and beliefs. The challenges were sometimes in my actions, but mostly within my thoughts as I was too scared to challenge her directly as she was manipulative and controlling which in turn made me split and become more independent, refusing to ask for help. I felt I didn’t need anyone and could manage on my own. The contemptuous relationship with my mother was a result of a damaged transition into ‘twoness’, (separation from my mother) which made me, at times, mistrustful and uncertain of relationships in my adult life, fearing rejection and unreliability (Froggett, 2008). My childhood experiences meant that I lost confidence in ‘the reliability of the social world’ (Honneth, 1992, p133) and was insecure. My life changed dramatically when I was 13 and my mother was diagnosed with cancer. It was at this time that integration became apparent, and I was able to forgive and re-build our relationship, achieving a ‘depressive position’. I felt needed, and guilt at the same time regarding my feelings for my mother. She was very ill and I was expected to become an adult and run the guesthouse we lived in. I felt very isolated; I no longer saw my friends from school as I looked after my family, did the household chores, paid the bills, did the shopping, visited my mother in hospital (before I went to school) and had no spare time to socialise. I managed to cope with the extra responsibility but experienced loneliness at home; and at school where I was bullied for a time because I was permitted to enter school at 9.30. Other children recognised this as being given special treatment, whereas, it was ‘misrecognition’, as I had chores to complete before school, which was difficult, â€Å"†¦. misrecognition can inflict harm, can be a form of oppression, imprisoning someone in a false, distorted and reduced mode of being.† (Taylor, 1995). However, my relationship with my mother had changed and I was able to convey my feelings to her and contain my anxieties. This new found desire to help led me to become involved, as a teenager, with helping children and committing to some voluntary work at a psychiatric hospital. Identifying with similar people was a form of release, helping myself by helping others, allowing me to deal with my feelings of abandonment, exclusion and isolation. I developed this further when I later became involved with Home Start, as a volunteer, which was the determining factor in my decision to become a social worker. My relationship with my mother deteriorated again when my brother died. I felt alone again, as my brother had been the one stable element in my life, and my way of coping was to blame my mother for uprooting us and bringing us to live with her. I detached myself and denied my brother was dead for a while by pretending he was away, (he had been in the RAF living in various camps) as a defence mechanism. I had just met my husband at this time and his strength allowed me to deal with my loss and come to terms with it; he became my ‘container’ allowing me to reach the ‘depressive position’. At the age of 18 years old my mother told me to leave after constant confrontations. We could not live together as we were both finding it very difficult dealing with our own grief, and each other’s. I felt liberated and was relieved as I had always been too scared of my mother before but my husband, my ‘container’, gave me the strength to stand up to her, and I finally found the strength to attain recognition as an individual. When my husband died I feel I split once more. I no longer felt I belonged, I hated everyone, particularly happy families, and I felt isolated and alone (Woods and Hollis, 1990). This could be defined in Kleinian terms as being the ‘paranoid schizoid’ position (a form of splitting) (Beckett, 2002). This was the worse time in my life and affected me deeply. I did start to drink at this stage to enable me to experience ‘oneness’, but did not attain this (Froggett, 2008). I was pregnant at the time; therefore, for the sake of my sanity I addressed my negative behaviour to prevent damage to my child. I realised that I had an unborn child who needed me, as well as 3 other children, who loved me unconditionally and I somehow found the strength to resolutely challenge myself not to disappoint them as my mother had me, this being my reason for containment (Froggett, 2008). During this time I was never asked or given a choice about any form of counselling, and I received very little support. This became my motivation for embarking on social work as a career, as I felt I could do a better job than some; as I had experienced disadvantage, trauma and been marginalized. I felt that I would be committed and reliable to the people who needed my support. My experiences have given me an inner strength, making me stronger (Hollis and Woods, 1990), enabling me to empathise and show compassion to others, and I felt that I had a lot to offer others less fortunate than myself. I had always been of an altruistic nature, and during this period of my life I realised social work, as a career, would allow me to practice altruism on a larger scale, gaining emotional gratification (Woods and Hollis, 1990). Hollis and Woods (1990) suggest that ‘motivation is very much affected by hope’ (p274), and although I had suffered traumatic events throughout my life I was able to acknowledge that I could use these experiences for the benefit of others. I had reached the ‘depressive position’, could begin to move forward, integrate the experience, and make sense of everything, the world being a better place (Beckett,2002). I embarked on a course at college, studying at night while I worked during the day, and continued my development when accepted on this course. My family felt this was an inappropriate choice, as they felt I had enough to do bringing up four children. My mother in particular thought it was a waste of time as she considered social workers to be ‘do gooders’. I felt that I wanted to give something back to society, and make a difference to those who are vulnerable, oppressed and struggling to cope with the pressures of social injustice and poverty. I wanted to make sure people have basic resources to meet their needs regardless of race, age, sex, or sexual orientation, empowering them to take control of their lives and promoting well-being. My mother’s attitude just made me more determined to pursue this route. Whilst at university I have developed my practice on placement, learning many new ideas, and realising the importance of social work on peoples’ lives. â€Å"Understanding the impact of transitions within a person’s life course is important for social work practice in order to help us understand other people’s lives† (Crawford and Walker, 2003, p5). On placement I worked within a family support team, and found one situation, with a young girl, particularly difficult as I identified with her complex situation. The girl had been abandoned by her mother, and was living with her father and stepfamily. Recognising her feelings I assisted the girl to develop an internal container by giving her a secret diary to record her thoughts and feelings, and we would discuss these feelings weekly. Whilst supporting the girl I experienced ‘transference’, feelings evoked from past attachments with her mother were transferred onto me, (Froggett, 2008)) and she became very attached and dependent on my visits. I was overwhelmed by the strong emotions projected from the girl, however, was unable to reject her, and as a consequence of her actions encountered ‘counter-transference’, relating my own personal experiences (Froggett, 2008). My vision became blurred with my own internal feelings, resulting in my inability to see the girl realistically. I found myself very protective of her, working extremely hard; advocating for her with her father who was oppressive and controlling, as I felt she was alone, and unable to challenge him. Furthermore, I wanted to ‘mother’ the girl to boost her self-esteem, and thus prevent her isolation. After our sessions I would go home mentally drained. Bion (1977) suggests there are three types of container-contained relationships: ‘parasitic’ dependent and unhealthy ‘commensal’ mutual containment, of benefit to both parties ‘symbiotic’ – receiving support to manage feelings, and seen as a healthy relationship. Fortunately I was able to express these anxiety provoking feelings with my assessor, hence she became my ‘container’. We had a ‘symbiotic’ relationship and she enabled me to disentangle myself from the situation, regain my ability to hold painful feelings, allowing me the capacity to perceive the girl as separate, and re-integrate (Menzies-Lyth, 1988). I was in a position to reflect, appreciating complexity, achieving ‘3rd position thinking’, ## I became stronger as a result, thus I was able to perceive things from a different perspective. During reflection I recognized emotional factors had clouded my judgement and I reached a better understanding of the situation, realising I had transferred my personal experiences onto the family (Winnicott, 1971). I acknowledged this intervention had proven difficult, bearing resemblance to my own experiences, and resolved to be more aware, making sure my professional boundaries were firmly established for subsequent visits and for the future (Froggett, 2008). Towards the end of my placement I referred the girl to a counsellor at school, so she did not feel abandoned, making effective use of another support network. Initially I had been attracted to working with children and families, however, supporting this girl made me realise that perhaps family support is not an area of practice that I should go into, as it may prove too emotional a field for me. Getting too involved with a client could prove ineffective and I could lose my focus. I have faced many challenges throughout my life but I have always managed somehow to rise above these, drawing on my reserve strengths and becoming a more resilient person. The importance being that I feel I have become self-assured, and can be an asset to the profession of social work. â€Å"The personality traits that I have as an adult are a direct result of my experiences from childhood† (Woods and Hollis, 1990, p34) Undertaking this assignment has been challenging and difficult, however, I found that putting my life into words was quite therapeutic, releasing certain issues that I had repressed. Freud suggests repression is â€Å"the most important of all defences† (Froggett, 2008 pg. 8) but releasing my feelings and thoughts about my life experiences enabled me to understand how I came to develop my own beliefs and values, as Crawford and Walker (2003) inform us â€Å"Social workers need to understand their own life course development and the significance that this has had on the values and beliefs that they have developed themselves.† Pg.13. According to the Code of Ethics, a social workers objective is to support people in need, addressing social problems. Experiences have made me the person I am, and utilising my skills, both personal and educational, will help me perform this duty. I believe my personal experiences changed me, making me more open to new ideas, and although I am very much aware of the past I have dealt with it, and do not dwell, moving forward. I have achieved ‘3rd position thinking’, realising that I can be a ‘good enough’ mother, whilst achieving success as a professional (Froggett, 2008). 3289 BIBLIOGRAPHY Beckett, C. (2002) Human Growth and Development. London. Sage Bion, W. (1977) ‘Learning from experience’, in Seven Servants, New York, Jason Aronson Crawford, K. and Walker, J. (2003) Social Work and Human Development. Exeter. Learning Matters Froggett, L. (2002) Love, Hate and Welfare – Psychosocial approaches to policy and practice. Bristol. The Policy Press Froggett, L. (2008) Psychosocial Theory and Practice for Social Work: A Conceptual Introduction to an Object Relations Approach. Preston. University of Central Lancashire. Unpublished manuscript Hollis, F. and Woods, M (1990) Casework: A Psychosocial Therapy 4th Edition. USA. Library of Congress Honneth, G. (1969) Integrity and Disrespect: Principles of a Conception of Morality based on the Theory of Recognition. 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